That Beautiful Voice of Reason

It’s nice to be cheered on, but sometimes, it’s that voice of reason that you need to succeed.

When we’re feeling doubtful or on the fence about something with our horse, how great is it to have a cheerleader in our corner?

“You’ve got this! You are awesome! Go with your gut. Give it your best! You know what to do. Do it! Go for it!”

When we’re on the fence about a decision, what could be better than that?

The only thing that could be better is, well, that other person — the one who is brutally honest.

Working a horseback, navigating our market, competing in the saddle and just plain riding takes a certain amount of grit and determination from a person. Not everyone is cut out for what we do (and I’m glad for that). It’s not for the complainers, the lazy, the faint or the easily discouraged. And for even those who are uber-tough, it’s nice having people encourage you and cheer you on when you’re out there doing your job and tackling goals

But I think it’s equally important to have someone be your voice of reason.

Sometimes, we need to hear no.

“No, your horse isn’t ready for that. No, you don’t have enough training for that level of competition. You don’t need something green. You aren’t a fit for that gelding, and you should sell him. If you keep this up, you’re going to get hurt. You’re off-track with your breeding program. You’re missing the boat by not doing _.”

It’s hard to hear, but sometimes, it can be a huge breakthrough. I’ve seen the right advice shift careers. Improve situations. Save lives. And I’ve seen the wrong advice do the opposite.

Sometimes, yeah, you do need to ride more. Try harder. Take a break. Get some help. Scratch. Enter up.

This person can’t be just anyone. They need to be someone you look to and respect for their wisdom and guidance. Often, it’s a trainer or some other sort of expert in the equine field. They are more than an acquaintance; they are someone who cares enough to speak up and knows you will respect them for the truth.

I don’t think this should be mixed up with negativity. There’s nothing to me that’s a bigger turnoff than unnecessary negativity in a situation (well, maybe excessive arrogance). But someone who isn’t afraid to tell you what’s hard to hear — whether it’s selling a horse or scratching a class — is really someone who cares about your success.

I have seen horrific wrecks, and I’ve seen good horses get totally wasted. I’ve seen talented riders short themselves because they won’t release a project, and I’ve seen “good enough” fail to be so.

Don’t discount those who do offer unwavering support. They are important, too! They believe in you, recognize the struggle and want so badly to see you succeed. What they’re saying isn’t false; it’s just an encouraging point of view. These folks are a gift to be cherished. But the person who questions and challenges you also offers a special gift. They tell the truth and allow us to connect, share and edit the story of our lives. In our minds, we sometimes slant a story to make it seem like a dream come true when there is really a problem that needs to be addressed.

Appreciate this person. Listen to what they have to say and remember that even though they are saying something against you, they are really cheering for you.

Unless they tell you not to buy another horse. Then, of course, completely disregard.

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