Decoding Town Life

Join me in using social media to understand city people

Social media is handy to connect with friends and like-minded ranch people, but I’ve discovered another purpose for it as well: to spy on townspeople. Most of the jokes and references about life in suburbia and city streets go over my head, though. Despite what my husband says, this is not just because I’m short.

It’s because I have limited town experience. I currently live down a dirt road in a mountain canyon with no cellphone service, and the only time I lived on city streets was during college. I am endlessly fascinated by the concepts of “running to the corner store,” “block parties” and “seeing other people when you step outside your front door.”

Here are a few things I’m trying to decode from a distance via reels and posts from townsfolk.

Target

I watched several reels that ended with a woman smiling while walking into Target; I stared at my phone in confusion. I knew a punchline was delivered, but I didn’t get it. Not at all, not even a little bit.

Then it hit me — women who live in town love going to Target. They seem especially passionate about the throw pillow aisle. To them, it’s like the trade show at the Working Ranch Cowboys Association finals, with a clearance section that smells like Starbucks.

I’ve been to Target a few times but have yet to experience the state of bliss that my suburban sisters feel upon walking through those sliding glass doors. I’ll stick with a rodeo trade show that smells like new leather.

Neighbors

Do town dwellers enjoy talking to their neighbors over the fence? Or do they give a terse nod and avoid eye contact while taking their trash cans out to the curb? I still haven’t figured this one out. All I know is my “neighbors” either moo or neigh and eat flowers out of my yard. I definitely make eye contact while I’m waving my arms and shouting to chase them away from my potted plants.

Other moms have clean shoes

White shoes are not practical on a ranch, and white pants aren’t even a real thing. I’m constantly amazed when I see women wearing pristine shoes that look like they were just pulled from a Target bag. Then I look at the clean sidewalk beneath their feet, and it makes sense.

When I’m feeling fancy, I’ll remove my shoes before I get out of the truck in town and smack them together to knock off most of the dirt. But at this point, I’ve largely accepted my shoes are rarely clean and never white.

Safety first is a real thing

I saw an online ad for a circular, metal wood-chopping device that holds a round of wood on top of an axe blade. The child in the ad swung a maul and hit the wood until it split in half from the bottom. The child never touched the blade and was protected from flying chunks of wood by the metal rack. It dawned on me that other parents put axes in the same category as pocketknives and forbid their children’s use of these items.

Woodworking safety at our house consists of me telling the kids to put on shoes before swinging an axe since I caught them splitting firewood while barefoot once. Pocketknife safety involves always keeping your blade sharp and on your person at all times. The only dangerous knife is a dull one, or worse yet, the one you forgot at home.

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